Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:09 LinkedIn community,
Speaker 1 00:00:10 The energy community, and more welcome to very special edition of coffee with Jim and James. Normally I start off with a little bit of a fun frivolous intro, but today we're going to keep it more on the serious side, more of the leadership development side, about a month or so ago, we, uh, had a segment on the seven habits sharpening the saw, which I have to tell you. And James is going to go into, it was overwhelmingly, reviewed and replied and commented on by hundreds, if not thousands of listeners and viewers. So we decided for this Thanksgiving week to dive back into another one of the seven habits, which we hope that you folks will again, gain a little nugget and make your life even better than it is right now. So without further ado, let me bring in the man of the hour. The one that actually has studied seven habits has trained on it has given presentations. I'm very proud to have my cohost, Mr. James Cross deliver this wonderful episode today. James, how are you this fine morning?
Speaker 2 00:01:13 Well, um, I'll always think when I, when I answered that question, it'd be funny to go back through all the episodes and get my answer and see how many times I said that. So, uh, maybe Amy will do that for us as a Christmas present, but, um, these are always fun, Jim, we talked about this awhile back about, you know, how could we bring something different, you know, take a new kind of angle and theme what they use. And honestly, it energy world that we live a very, um, seven habits centered, uh, life over here where we attempt to write as Dr. Matt joiner says, we walk in direction, not perfection. And so we're, we're always trying to keep that center. And so we said, why not? Why, why not share? Right. There's gotta be other people. And what better time than when you're trapped behind a computer screen.
Speaker 2 00:02:07 And you're just screaming for content or screaming for help in some cases, then to learn a little bit while we do these. So that's, that's the goal of a gym and I'm excited to get to do that for am. I was, I don't know about you, Jim, but I was pleasantly surprised about how well the reception was from the first one. So like you said, yeah, I had a lot of people reach out and say, I hope y'all go through another habit. Uh, uh, you know, unless things change, you know, Jim always jokes. We always joke about it long as we don't get canceled. Uh, as soon as this pandemics over and everybody's like, Oh no, this was two conferences again. Uh, we hope to bring all seven habits to our audience.
Speaker 1 00:02:52 Yeah. I think it's a great thing. I think so many people get at least something out of it. And again, if you can do something, change your life in a little bit of a way to make it more positive. I mean, I I'm thrilled for this episode because I'm anticipating learning something. I am new to seven habits and James, you have taught me a lot, so let's dive right into it. If we can, um, at a very high level, this habit has to do with putting first things first, James, can you give us a little highlight as to what that means for us and what we can?
Speaker 2 00:03:26 Sure. So, yeah, that's the habit, right? Putting first things first. So really it's about ensuring that you stick to the important and impactful things in your life, right? Things that ultimately make a difference. You know, a lot of the times we find ourselves really pushing some things back, there's something in your lap. Joel, I don't know what that thing is for you. It's it's we all have that dream or that one thing that we've continued to put it on the back burner, uh, you know, kicking that proverbial can down the road again and again and again. So, you know, it's the first habit and what Covey calls the public victory. And for those that maybe aren't, so it habit nerds like me, uh, the first two habits are private victory, right? And so what that means is really it's all within yourself. Okay? So you have to change and shift your paradigms that already exist and move to more, to more of a principle-based life.
Speaker 2 00:04:28 And once you make that private victory, then you can take it to the public, right? So this is that first habit that's really public facing. Okay. So first things first at the end of the day is really just ensuring that you're not in the weeds and putting out fires all day, right? But instead you're working through projects and visions and innovations and ideas that are really impactful on a lot of the time for businesses. They're lucrative too. That's a fantastic by-product right. But you see these, these habits are fantastic habits to form. Even if they're chunk by chunk, little by little, you begin to shape and mold your time and your choices to really better your overall effectiveness. So I answer that answer.
Speaker 1 00:05:20 Well, you know, as you do so well, you sparked so many thoughts up here and I love the, the concept and the, and the process and everything, but I want to be real with you for a moment. You know, so many of us, let's just say in the energy industry, I hear this every day, you know, I'm talking to people every night on the weekends. Wow. My day got so far behind. I was putting out fires all day. You know, they, they were doing things, but it's very reactive and not proactive. And I would say I'm a victim of that at times, you know, you have every intention to get out of bed at six in the morning. I'm like, I'm gonna do this, this and this. And then all of a sudden by eight 45, it's like, Whoa, wow, okay. I'm behind the eight ball already putting out fires. What can we do about that?
Speaker 2 00:06:13 Yeah. You, you hit it, um, proactive, right? That's the first habit. Um, getting ahead of it. So easy to talk about. So hard to do sometimes. So we all do it all the time. Uh, Covey talks about it and you know, it's really a default thing. The path of least resistance, you know, but the lazy kind of path, and I've been there, I'm there some, some there's things I'm doing that now that feel like that, you know, uh, you know, like you said, you wake up your Workday's chaos, you clock out and worry about it. When you get home, maybe you don't sleep well, then you wake up, you do it all again. Right. I mean, for a lot of people that that's just how they view work and, and which is wild to think of. Cause I definitely don't you work that way, but that, that's where first things first come in. If I have the ability to focus on the big picture, focus on the cause of the million little fires instead of the fires, then we can begin, you know, really slow that fly reel and change our overall behaviors and over time, but Jimmy not overnight, we'll see those fires then. Right. And we can focus even more with even more proactive behaviors. And then, and only then I think is when you begin to truly live that habit of first things first.
Speaker 1 00:07:45 Yeah. And I would imagine James, that probably once you start feeling success with it, it kind of grows that a little bit like a snowball little bit. Okay.
Speaker 2 00:07:56 Flywheel, right. I mean, flywheels work in either direction. I mean, in that situation, it can be a negative they're habits. We got to remember that it's a habit. It's not a get rich scheme. It's not, you know, um, how you can take the shortcut and get ahead. It's about establishing those principles that Covey later
Speaker 1 00:08:18 And, and habits are repetition. Correct. You know, by doing it over. Okay. Now when I mentioned, you know, habits, repetition and such, all right, I'm looking at you right now. Our audience is looking to you, tips and tricks. Do you have any that you can give us that we can start to implement this and get the, get on the path? Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:08:42 Um, Jim, I'm going to use you as an example here. Right. Um, we actually had a really good conversation one day when we were talking about habits and seven habits. Um, and, uh, I wanted to use that example today because I think if it's a micro, but, but a great example of it. Um, so when I met you, Jim, you walked more than any person I've ever seen. All right. Uh, you walked, when you woke up, you walked, when you talked on the phone, which was a lot, uh, you walked in the morning, you walked at night, you walk to the grocery store, just walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. Right. And, and I would argue that it was for both your sanity and mental health, but also, I mean, obviously you've got the physical benefits from it as well. You were probably the healthiest you've ever been. You know, you probably figured out a lot of the world's problems in your world, um, on those walks. I, right.
Speaker 1 00:09:45 Absolutely.
Speaker 2 00:09:47 Um, it's a great time, you know, that's why a lot of people play golf. Uh, that's why presidents play golf was because a lot of the business and the ideation and things happen in that downtime, there's a balance to that. Right. So that's a great habit. That's the whole point of that. Right? The walking amazing time. It's both, you know, it's a win-win as far as physical and mental. Right. Okay. So Jim, let me, I'm gonna ask you, um, I assume the walking's going amazing right now. I'm sure you've been walking a lot with all the stress of you move from Texas to Florida over the past year, you've got a new fiance. Congratulations. Uh, y'all are living together, um, spoil that for your parents. COVID pandemic, social unrest, political turmoil, our industry, and the impact that's had from the economy this year. I can only imagine that you've walked a million miles in 2020,
Speaker 1 00:10:49 Ah, okay. Full disclosure, virtually zero. Right. And, uh, not happy about that. Tammy tells me all the time, go for a walk, get out, clear your head, you know, let it all go. And I find like, Oh, I gotta get on and do this. Or I gotta do that. Or, you know, this is waiting. I gotta, you know, and I, I, I push it back and I should be pushing it forward because honestly, your point when I used to walk, I would walk four to six miles every night. I would decompress today. I would line everything up in my brain. I would plan for tomorrow. So when I went to bed, I felt good. Mentally. When I woke up in the morning to, I actually woke up with the idea that I already planned my day, the night before on that walk. And I woke up feeling very like, okay, let's get some other things out of the way, because I already took that time to plan my day last night. And you're absolutely right. I I'm, I need to start walking again because it was absolutely wonderful. I w I'm gonna say 70, 30, 70% was mental and 30% was physical. But even though it was the best shape I've ever been in, that just tells you how great it was mentally. Right.
Speaker 2 00:12:02 It's very freeing. So, and, and so then I'll follow that up. Jimmy was saying, and, and how's your mental health right now? And how are you sleeping and how, you know what I mean? I mean, it's funny, right? Um, one of the things Covey Covey talks about is, um, you know, whatever has to be done is going to get done. It can be done proactively or not, right? It's the old change on the car. Now you can do it at 3000 miles and you can do it when the light comes on, or you can do it when there's smoke, pouring out of your hood, but either way, the task is going to get done, right? So you can proactively go on a walk and kill a couple birds with one stone and come back and get a good night's sleep. Or you will be up in the night and worry and concern until your body finally wears down and you wear out, right.
Speaker 2 00:12:58 You burn out and fizzle you. Then you've got to take four days off. And guess what? At the end of the day you got the rest you needed it wasn't proactive. It was very reactive, but that that's the reality, right? So, um, you know, I challenge you if, if that is what helps your stress helps you, things that I need, then why don't you schedule it? Right. So you ask about tips. I know these next two weeks, Jim are going to be crazy. You know, this, this next month, we're rolling into the holidays. You've already got stuff on your schedule scheduled out well into December, but you might be able to schedule two, two times a week to go walk. And after you get through the holiday, you can probably start scheduling a new your new year. I doubt you have a lot on your schedule already for 2021.
Speaker 2 00:13:55 Right. And if you schedule that, then nobody else can schedule it. Yeah. And so it seems like a super micro example, but if, if you, if you'll start scheduling time with yourself, you'll be surprised how much you can get done, whatever that is. Right. So it may be writing that song. It may be painting. It might be reading, um, it might be gardening, you know, whatever it is being the best damn dad that you could be, you know, whatever it is. Um, because if you don't make the time and schedule, what is first for you guess what someone else is going to schedule, what's first for them on your schedule and you'll be gone and you'll be gone. Wow, man. You know, they really got their life together and I just can't even, and now they're just putting first things first, right? Yep. So I'm going to give one more example and it's actually internal and it's crystal Strongberg, who's amazing.
Speaker 2 00:14:59 One of our coworkers. And I always joke if I see a meeting scheduled for four o'clock on a Friday, uh, it's crystal Strombergs meeting. Right. But you know, who always gets their first things, Chris, Chris, right. Because I may look at Friday afternoon and go, you know what, I'm not going to do that to anybody, man. I'm going to let them coast off into that, you know, into their weekend and go about my business. And you know what, at the end of the day, my first things won't get done, but crystals will cause she's amazing shutter.
Speaker 1 00:15:32 Yeah. Let me just hop in though, because that thought, um, invokes, uh, sharpen, the saw, and you gave me some great advice. Cause we were talking about working nights and weekends and all this, and you would think you're like, yeah, but if you get that done, if you spend a half hour on the computer Saturday morning and get that off your plate, just think better. Your mind and body is going to be for the rest of the weekend, as opposed to that little half hour hanging over, you know? Oh, I should have did that.
Speaker 2 00:16:01 Cause here's the deal, Tim, you don't have that four o'clock Friday meeting. Guess what? You're going to have a nine 30 on Monday. Yeah. You're going to schedule that one. Probably not. Well then now I'm dealing with that. There's no question while we have Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday crammed in from a scheduling standpoint is because first things first.
Speaker 1 00:16:21 Yeah. Alright, James, let's, let's take this to the next level. You know, we've talked about some kind of, uh, easy things to do and I, and again, I, I liked it. I think our audience is going to like that too, but you know, let's take it up a little bit other bold moves that we can do. I mean, what people might consider bold in the industry, um, you know, to help us take control more, um, of what we do and what we want to do.
Speaker 2 00:16:49 I don't know if I'd call them bold, you know, like, uh, they're not going to be earth shed. I'm not going to melt anybody's brains with what I'm about to say, because I also believe there's some value in having very simple and attainable, um, you know, actions or goals, right? Like, especially when you're starting, let's, let's get some wins, let's get some momentum, let's get some excitement and let's, you know, go to work. So, so I'm going to, I'll hit you with three, you know, in my opinion, but they're like I said, they're not going to be bold, uh, or maybe they will be, um, I would start, okay, Jim, I've told everybody at the beginning of this year, and this is, this is some insider trading stuff going on right here because, uh, I actually made a proclamation beginning of the shield that I was going to focus on first things first.
Speaker 2 00:17:40 Uh, so, so this one right here, man, it's a little dirty poker. I have some inside information because I'm very passionate about this habit this year. I said at the beginning of the year, everyone hold me to it and I'm going to hold you to it. We, as a department, we, as a company, we as me are going to put first things first. And so if we need it, you'd better be scheduling it, doing it because, um, you're going to struggle to find gaps because if not, I'm going to fill all the gaps. Okay. Making that declaration, that proclamation, I think that's the biggest part. And the reason is, is because people will rally around you. Okay. They want you to meet their goals. They, if you have the right team and teammates, they're going to, to, you know, help you get there, right?
Speaker 1 00:18:30 Yup. They will let me bring in an observation. And it just struck a chord with me, a bold move that you did during the relaunch rebrand, all that you called me, we were talking on the phone and you're like, I'm going to start declining meetings because if they don't pertain to me and my date and the mission critical path that I'm on, it's just going to get in the way. And you send out a really nice email to literally all the leadership saying, please understand where I'm at. I'm going to be declining meetings because I need my head in the game. So you kind of set it up front and then all of a sudden I'm sure it was hard decline, decline. I mean, we don't play meetings, you know, it's accepted,
Speaker 2 00:19:13 That's not our culture. Right. And I can't take credit for that. You know, Jeff, uh, our president was the one who told me Jeff Isabel. Um, he, um, you know, here's the one that said as long as you provide paths, right. Go for it. So, um, yeah, I mean, okay, I'll give you that. But, but even starting into this year, you know, first things first, it was a big thing for me. And, and for the goals that we set and, you know, Jeff told me one time, funny enough that, that, that just came up, Jeff, Isabel, our president here, they need, you will. And that said, you know, no one likes surprises except for the birthday and Christmas. Right? So in this situation, what I'm saying is why wouldn't you want that known that you're going to work on that. And that is something that you're going to need help with.
Speaker 2 00:20:00 Right. And, and that way everybody can be a part of your plan. All right. You're transparent. You're honest. You make it known and everybody's going to support you and back you up and hold you to it. Right. So, so that's number one, make it known. Okay. Go after it. Okay. Number two. And this one applies to all the habits, in my opinion, the habits as a whole, because our eyes get really big, right. Or my eyes, people always say in Texas minds, bigger than my stomach was. Right. You go load up that big play, that Thanksgiving, you come back. And you're like, man, my eyes were better. Same thing with these habits. When you get excited, you're like, man, this is going to work. I want to employ all of them. And guess what? You don't have good habits right now. Yeah. There's a reason you're reading this book.
Speaker 2 00:20:49 Right. So, so you don't have good habits. So you try to do all of it at once. It fails, you hate it, you know? And then I quit. And then I go back to my old habits. Cause it's lazy. It's easy. Right. So, so don't, don't go too much too soon on this one that it took you years to build these habits. You're not going to break them and reintroduce new ones in a day, in a week, in a month. Right. They're habits. Um, you know, they always say, how do you eat an elephant? How do you eat a male elephant, Jimmy one bite at a time. Absolutely. Right. And, and these habits are no different, right? You can't fix your schedule in one afternoon, but you can do a whole hell of a lot better than what you're doing right now. Right. You agree if Jimmy, if you scheduled one walk a week, you would be doing one more week than you're doing now.
Speaker 2 00:21:46 I'm sure a hundred percent improvement. Right. Um, so schedule it, um, go to work on it and, and take it chunk by chunk. All right. Last one. And this one super simple. I should've put this one first, but I feel like I beat this drum all the time and are speaking topics up, the ones I'm blessed to be able to do. This is always one of my tips. And that's just to start, it's so simple. We can get an analysis paralysis all day long, you know, go down this path of just tearing yourself apart and all the things you do, good, bad, ugly, and indifferent, and never get started. And if it, if that means scheduling a meeting with yourself to get down to it, treat it like a project, make time for it, figure out what are your first things first. That sounded crazy.
Speaker 2 00:22:44 Figure out what your first things are first. Okay. Because I think you'll be surprised when you start digging into that. What really is first and is it principal faced or is it very comfy? Always says. And we just learned about this gym and the last habit, habit, two talks about this all the time. But sometimes what you are focusing on, you just need to go up a level and, and it sounds weird, but be more generic principles are more generic based. Right. And um, so find out what those things are for you and for your organization and for your department in your teams. Right. And start building a plan from that. But whatever you do, just start, that's the most important one. So silly. So yeah. I told you, they weren't bold. They're just simple language, man. It makes you comfortable. I can start. Right. Like if I sum all three of those up in one, I need you to start. I need you to tell everybody about it. Okay. And I need you to take a chunk by chunk so that you can actually complete it.
Speaker 1 00:23:52 And then, right. And when you say people, when people can be doing this function, like you and I doing this together, or people out at companies, you know, they have a buddy, you know that they bounce things back. How's your week going? You know, you hold me accountable. Did you set that at the time to go walking yet? No, I didn't do that. You know, where's first things first. Yeah. James, I feel inspired after sitting with you this morning. I am,
Speaker 2 00:24:24 It's set a really high bar when you intro to me, like I was some professor at Harvard about seven habits when really, uh, I was told I needed to read this book one time I read it, my eyes open. Uh, I have been blessed to teach it a few times. I'm teaching it next week, actually, some more. Um, but hopefully, hopefully I lived up to the hype now, Jimmy hype, man, my flavor flave
Speaker 1 00:24:54 I think did brother, I, you know, you did and, and you know, reaching out to the audience right now, as you can see, James has an incredible passion for this. And during this Thanksgiving time, we hope that you have a, a few minutes to, to view this, to take it in, you know, to talk about it with a family member, with a coworker. Again, uh, we in the energy business business, a lot of folks are working this holiday week. We never end three 65. We give you folks a lot of praise. Uh, please stay safe out there for all those that are working. Um, but yeah, do, uh, do take one little bit and try it. And I it'll change. Um, also Thanksgiving week, we want to give also a special shout out from James and I to, uh, all those that are serving in the military. We, uh, thank you. Uh, you know, God bless you. God bless our country. We appreciate all you do for us, James. I think that, that, um, you know, just, uh, uh, anything else you want to add before I wrap it up?
Speaker 2 00:25:59 Yeah, I think, I think you hit it, Jimmy. I want to thank everybody so far. Who's been on this ride with us, but I wish everybody a happy Thanksgiving. I know this year has been hard and I just pray, pray, pray that each of them you are able to enjoy this holiday and whatever that might look like for you. And you're so, um, um, I'm, I'm glad you're sharing it if you're watching this and that means you're sharing Thanksgiving with us.
Speaker 1 00:26:26 Yeah, absolutely. And we couldn't be more proud and happier that we could hear a little bit and hopefully make your life just a little bit better because a little bit better can go a long way until the next episode of coffee with Jim and James James. And I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving, a safe everybody. And as I would say, don't eat too much. Watch those calories. So until next time, take care, stay safe and God bless you. And God bless our country.
Speaker 3 00:26:54 <inaudible>.
